Minutes from the Wine Bored: Is It Just Me?

All of a sudden I am totally bored with wine. All I think about when it comes to wine is how I do not want to think about it at all. I still like drinking wine. I am just out of gas when it comes to describing the experience or even caring about it.

Maybe it is because we are at the end of a summer that hardly got started. Maybe it is because I have decided to drink less for health reasons. Before I get an email about the French Paradox let me make my position clear right now…who cares. Wait…it gets worse.

All of a sudden I think about how boring goatees are on men. Too many of them. Of course I wear one. But this is because I am too lazy to shave my entire face. And another thing…I am bored with movie sound tracks that trace every damn movement on screen. Bring back silent films! Colbert, Stewart, even Bill Maher…B-O-R-I-N-G. TV shows with comics like Louis CK or the Shaq showcases…fuggedaboudid. I can only watch History Channel and a few UFO investigative pieces. The Large provided the summer’s best entertainment with his impressive UFOlogical accompaniment to the Perseid meteor shower.

I have reached out to the BEST OF WINE CONTRIBUTORS to help me grapple with my state of wine bordeom. Here is what I got.

Minutes from the Third Quarterly Meeting 2010 of the Wine Bored

Bored Members Present: Dotoré, tBoW, Large, Field Mouse (reporting remotely)

1.     State of the Art and Science of Wine

tBoW: Wine is boring. And it’s a lousy business too. Prices are still too high. The Silly Factor is way up over the past decade.

Dotor√©: Wine is not boring. Talking about wine is boring. Drinking wine is a pleasure, sensorally and socially. It also gets you high. It is a lousy business if you are a producer or seller. It is a good business these days if you’re a buyer and aren’t stupid. Prices are only too high on wines that are stupid (read: from California or Bordeaux). But a great bottle of Burgundy or Barolo can be transcendent and worth every penny, regardless the cost. And tBoW knows it.

Mouse: Paul Draper was, is, and always will be the most important California winemaker. Just tried the 1995 Geyserville. Epic. And still, given inflation, the same prices it’s always been. Importers won’t give us Austrian reds, Hungarian table wine, or even decent NY state Rieslings, for that matter. Fascists.

tBoW: Ridge is consistently the BEST California Cab producer. [ed. of course the Geyserville is a Zin]. Drinkable vintage upon vintage. Beats Opus with a stick along with other stoopidly priced trophies. But when it comes to BEST California producers I have to nominate Tablas Creek and Navarro for quality and price ratios. I have a soft spot for Mackenzie Mueller because Bob Mueller makes a rustic style but I am selective with the wines. Finally, Jim Moore makes consistently great wines offered at prices way up the value scale (that would be VERY good pricing) and he makes wines I like trying such as Vermentino and Barbera. I have never tasted a memorable Austrian red but I have probably tasted four imported by Bill Mayer of the Age of Riesling…and¬†he is an excellent importer. I have tasted Hungarian table wine at Pourtal in Santa Monica. Would like to try a NY Riesling. I have considerably more bile stored up for distributors than importers.

Dotor√©: There is no point whatsoever in discussing domestic wine. There is not ONE worthy of purchase, not even Monte Bello at it’s stupid price point. Aside from the occasional NoCal or Oregon Pinot, though also stupidly overpriced, I won’t even look at a domestic wine. They are all stupid. Have I overused the word stupid?

Large: A little end of summer bummer, a little hangover from too many varietals, eh? I’m not at all sure wine is boring–it just converses to us humans in a much longer time frame than what our new media age dictates in terms of our overloaded attention spans–its sentences and phrases turn sometimes in durations longer than our lifetimes, no?

2.     Regional reports

Mouse: White Rhone blends and southern French whites remain the best white wine bargains around. Period. Roussanne is the best wine that you can never find outside of the Central Coast. I love the versatility of Riesling, but for one meal, dollop me up a Roussanne, or at least 60% with perhaps the rest Grenache Blanc to make the nervous winemakers happy.

Dotor√©: I’ll put up the Roussane from Seven of Hearts against anything from the Central Coast. It is the best domestic Roussanne I can remember having and it was from Oregon and it was probably overpriced at $24. Can’t think of a “white” grape (Sauv Blanc, Chard, Chenin Blanc, Riesling, Albarino) that isn’t better than Sancerre, Chablis, Vouvray….you get the picture. Sounding a bit “one note” I know, but why buy a domestic version of a wine that costs more than the “original” and doesn’t taste as good?

tBoW: Let’s hear about Dotor√©’s Spain trip. [ed. Excerpted emails from Dotor√© follow. Upon arriving in Bilbao after 30 hours of travel he sent the following].

Drunk on Rioja. Converting to Basque. Fiesta esta noche. Dancing at 11. Party.

All food in Spain covered with ham and cheese.¬†Starting dinner at 22:30.¬† Steak, artichokes, 06 crianza (14.5E = $20)¬† life is bueno. Passed sign on Hwy..Bordeaux 240 km. Tempted. Aste nagusta.¬†Festival week.¬†Hundreds of 1000’s across street at Guggenheim Museum.¬†Midnight.¬†No end in sight.¬†Not in LA toto. Noisy. Sexy.¬†Never coming home.¬†Come on down.

[ed. Mrs, Dotoré offered a comment.] Yikes. It was hot here, too, but we took an air conditioned ride to Biarritz where it was much cooler.

tBoW: Your husband writes funnier stuff. Give him back the phone.

Basque atrocity

[ed. Pithy commentary de Dotor√© resumed] Have seen or spoken to no Americans since arriving in Spain. Locals have been unfailingly generous and pleasant.¬†Sat next to a couple of Brits at lunch, but would have preferred to sit next to Spaniards that I couldn’t understand.¬†Mrs. Dotor√© accused me of perpetrating genocide.¬†Probably would if I could. The Basques can have their food.¬†And their wine is terrible.¬†Bottom line, you want good food go to Italy.

3.    The BORED RECESSED to listen to a song by Melanie

4.     New Business

tBoW: I move it is time to ignore Cabernet Sauvignon entirely unless it is blended, excepting Ridge Monte Bello.

accept no substitutes

Mouse: Regarding Cab and the requisitive blending: I kinda agree. Especially if we’re talking sango. And try a high end cab with a burger infused with feta or blue cheese. Ruckously good.

Dotor√©: Best California Cab is still overdense, overpriced, and not particularly food friendly. If I were to want a cabernet based wine and spend well over a c-note, this is not the wine I would buy. First, I would definitely buy a blended cab, as 100% cab is often cloying. Second, the cabernet grape as grown in France tastes different than domestic cab–softer, rounder, more floral. Give me a blended cab from France or Italy any day. Best California producer, in my book, is still Rochioli, if his wines were 1/2 the price.

tBow: There is a motion on the floor. All in favor of not tasting any more Cabs unless they say Ridge Monte Bello on the label? The ayes have it. Next motion – Only Pinot Noir from Anderson Valley or Burgundy may be consumed.

Dotoré: What about Oregon Pinot Noirs?

tBoW: I will amend my motion to include Oregon Pinot Noirs from Carlton Ridge.

Dotoré: Call for vote. All in favor? Motion carries.

The meeting resumed with discussions about tasting more Spanish wines and anything Mouse suggests. Large may continue to pour anything he likes at any time to anyone.

5. Closing Thoughts

Mouse: Don’t overage your wines.

Large: I have so many thoughts…[ed. upcoming addendum post devoted to Musings From the Large inspired by this post]

tBoW: Who would like a Margarita?

Dotor√©: Think about what you are going to eat. What cuisine does it most closely resemble? What country is that from? Then go to your cellar or local wine store and get the wine that is made THERE to go with that food. Simple really. Other than that…lose my number.

6.¬†Meeting was adjourned so tBoW could attend his yoga class, Mouse could work on phys ed lesson plans, Large could build a new company, and Dotor√© might concentrate on this week’s football pool. The adjacent chart was agreed upon as valid conceptualization of most wine consumers’ circumstances.


  1. Wavatar
    doctore says:

    Best posting ever.

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    alstone says:

    I was under the impression this was a WINE blog, not a WHINE blog. I stand corrected.

  3. Wavatar
    Sket says:

    I never new being bored with something could be sooooo much fun.

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    Betsy says:

    I do love Melanie. But I need you to more amusing and find more good wine for me to drink. Maybe you need to move to a new locale to shake things up.

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    Bondrayson says:

    Favorite part is pie chart with Life Broken Down by Segments. Especially the all important “Looking for Things I had just a Minute Ago.” Beyond that, shouldn’t expect much given your OCD tendancies (meant in the nicest way of course). Don’t fret, something else will come up – Dancing with the Stars, American Idol… By the way, have you seen my glasses. I put them down somewhere… Maybe they’re under your cigars that are on top of your golf clubs near your baseball card collection by the model train tracks…Perhaps check the wine cellar!

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    Tootsie says:

    I regret to inform you that we drank all the NY state Reisling that I brought back from the Finger Lakes district in the Hudson Valley. tBoW knows that we love our Reisling here, the boss likes his a little sweeter than I do. It was delicious. And cheap! NY state has some very stupid – I like doctore’s adjective – laws about wine. Why you can’t buy it in the grocery store with your food is just antiquated. Almost as bad as the Canadians – the state owns the liquor stores there! BTW – they make excellent wines in British Columbia. Try them if you can find them. We don’t care where it comes from or what it costs, we just need to have that little glass to say goodnight to the day. Love the pie chart, but from the looks of you the eating slice should be a little larger.

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