LA’s Grand Guignol

It can get pretty strange around this town. And the place where LA is most bizarre is a Lakers game. Blend Us Weekly with In Style with Enquirer and read the super rag in a celebrity cemetery. tBoW attended the only Lakers game he will attend this season. Kloe Kardashian sat 10 feet from Frank Robinson. That’s right. The only MVP in both leagues and arguably the greatest pound for pound baseball player of all time; a Henri Jayer Cros Parantoux of an athlete. 10 feet from a Dubouef Nouveau Beaujolais. Guess who got the most attention. Not that Frank did not have visitors and folks begging for a photo. At the end of game (more ordinary like a Central Valley Merlot) the bored courtside photographers, who had been shooting the action non-stop, all turned at once and took their paparazzi shots of Lamar Odom’s newly betrothed. One fan close to tBoW’s age sitting nearby asked for Frank to stop and pose for his cell phone cam. Frank obliged. After all, the man won the Triple Crown the year he was traded to the Orioles and once hit back to back grand slams.
Now for LA weird. tBoW once watched Dom Delouise swallow a bird in front of a horrified crowd of parents at a school fundraiser, after Dom spun the bird on a stick in a way that would give PETA people nightmares. That’s the warmup act. At halftime of the Lakers/Hornets game a very slight woman with trademark blonde curls, covered head to second knuckles to instep in sweater and jeans, made her way to the tunnel where the visiting team comes and goes. She waited. She never took her eyes or attention from the tunnel. She was close enough tBoW could see flourescent light bounce off her tight and tawny face. Her full red lips hovered like two engorged leeches between her Michael-Jackson-perfect chin and nose. The Hornets eventually returned to the court to sleep walk another 24 minutes. As coach Byron Scott appeared the 90 pound [ed. if that!] waif rushed to him and threw her arms around Scott’s neck. She whispered in his ear and stroked his cheek until he smiled then disentangled himself returning to the bench. Sated, for now, she turned and headed to her baseline seat. It was Dyan Cannon, celebrity fan from the Showtime 80s who once got as much attention as Jack. I guess she still has her seats but feels obligated to cover up everything lest she be captured by paparazzi. They still care. Two “fans” behind me spent the game calling out new celebrities. Leo DiCaprio! Maria Sharapova! Toby Maguire! The back of Nicholson’s head! When I checked they had never heard of Dyan or Frank.
Kobe had 26 in the first half. Robby is two years older than Dyan.
Now wine can certainly be silly but rarely is it perverse. Even the LA-based wineries do not sink to the depths our celebrity population finds so comforting. The closest we come is the all-too-common bombastic review, but these inspire more humor than horror. A top SoCal retailer pushed us to wikipedia to figure out what exactly is raspberry coulis!

The wine leads off with an enticing nose of violets and framboise followed by a creamy smooth, layered palate of black raspberry and black cherry fruit nuanced nicely with hints of carob, cardamom and cinnamon stick. The wine’s velvety texture is a real turn-on while its long, even-keeled finish provides additional flavorful hints of milk chocolate, raspberry coulis and cr√®me de cassis! The fruit purity at play here is simply amazing! So, too, is the wine’s superb length and depth of flavor complexity.
Tanks gott for wikipedia: Coulis (kool-ee) is “…a form of thick sauce made from pur√©ed and strained vegetables or fruits. A vegetable coulis is commonly used on meat and vegetable dishes…Fruit coulis are most often used on desserts. Raspberry coulis, for example, is especially popular with poached apples.”
Oh. The wine was was sweet. At least it was $10.
2004 Foley Santa Rita HIlls Pinot Noir $33: Acidic, citric. The mid level Foley bottle which means it should be consistent. Does not taste like a Pinot Noir. Medium to lightweight body and getting thinner by the minute. Toted in by Dotoré who expected much more; has tasted much more from several bottles. Just not in balance. Not showing well at all. Is it breaking apart? Did not change with time in the glass. 14.3%
2006 Paul Lato Fiddlestix Sine Cerra $65: Paul Lato is one of the winemakers singled out by Haeger in hIs wonderful guide to domestic Pinot Noir [ed. that is, California and Oregon]. Of course, if you have been following tBoW for more than a year you would have read about Paul’s wines in Jan 2008 and you might have bought some of his wines for yourself! Now everybody knows and his wines cost a fortune! And you cannot get them. Well this is one of those wines worth the steep entry price. The wine is transcendent. Dense and intense. But not lysergic like a Tolmach wine can get. Weight is light to medium. Fruit is SRH ripe but still showing Lato’s restrained sensibility. Dotor√© fairly flipped somehow finding vindication for the disappointing Foley. 14.7%

1999 Silverado Sangiovese $40 in magnum: For every exclusive and unavailable wine there is some throwaway loss leader that in order to acquire, just like the exclusive bottle, you gotta be there. This bottle in mag was on the counter last time we were at the winery. The price was right and we sprang. Missed our Turkey day plan to open it for at least two years only recently popping the cork. At ten years this wine is completely integrated. There are no tannins. It is a nice light to medium bodied Itaiian red wine. No acidic undertones. Nice Napa wine that complemented the lasagna. 14%
2002 McKenzie Mueller Cabernet Franc $39: Ripe fruit with typical rustic quality and restrained style. Bob Mueller makes terroir driven wines from a small farm in Carneros. They are built to age 5 to 10 years. He makes local, personal classic wines. Down home Napa bred. A real throwback and worth finding. Think of him as the Brett Favre of Carneros. 14.7%
The USC Trojan football season is officially over. RIP.