Beers and Rattlesnakes Bring COVID-19 Relief

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MAYBE YOU SHOULD TAKE A WINE BREAK AND HAVE SOME BEERS!

Our guest blogger is HrtyBaer and he is a beer drinking pro. He knows beers like Fauci knows pandemics. Like Pence knows safety masks. Hey…come up with your own metaphors and make a comment below. Lord knows we can use a fresh perspective. HrtyBaer’s assignment? Review THREE BEERS.

Three beers? I’ll get straight to the point. Here are three workhorse brews any wine drinker can appreciate; core beers of their respective breweries, easily accessible in Southern California, interesting but not overly complicated, and flexible enough to work in just about any situation.

Passion Pool 5% ABV, Mikkeller Brewing San Diego $11.99 16 oz four pack Total Wine: This l’il puppy is a gose, an old German ale that fell out of fashion sometime during the Triassic period. Luckily, the style has experienced a renaissance in the last decade or so. A traditional gose is salty, sour, lower on the ABV spectrum and displays a refreshing character. This one hits all those notes and adds in a little passion fruit to balance everything out. It’s light, it’s quenching – do it. [ed. read about how gose beer is made – and how to pronounce the name – from a beer critic revolted by the style!] What a snob.

Vibes 5% ABV, Almanac Beer Company $13 four pack Total Wine: Vibes is a modern take on a Pilsner [ed. tBoW loves Pilsner!]. It’s got the light, dry body, cracker-y malts, and prickly carbonation of the classic style, but it’s dry-hopped with new-age hop varietals that impart a fruity (honeydew, lemongrass, citrus), and more rounded character while dialing back the bitterness [ed. tBoW loves bitterness – doesn’t everyone?].

Retreat 8.6% ABV, Offshoot Beer Company $18 four pack 16 oz cans Total Wine: Classic West Coast IPAs can be so bitter that it’s almost impossible to find any real flavor. Modern New England IPAs are often measured by their hazy, opaque visual characteristic and can be sweet to the point of cloying – just a sugary mess. This double IPA from Offshoot is indeed hazy, but it incorporates the best of all the IPA worlds to create a beer that provides excellent balance with great citrus flavor (orange and grapefruit), a smooth, soft body, and a refreshing light bitterness on the backend. It’s dangerously easy to drink and is always stocked in my fridge.

Trumer Pilsner ABV 4.8% $9 six pack 11 oz Total Wine: following comment borrowed from Beer Advocate: “There is not a better example of a true Pilsner brewed in America. If you like traditional pilsners with a slightly sweet finish but no lingering residue in the mouth this is the one. It is not going to please those who like the new style pilsners that have a hoppy characteristic to them, but for the majority of pilsner drinkers just looking for something crushable this is it.” All that being said, here is what tBoW likes…just the right amount of bitterness which for mois is considerable…hits the mouth right away filling it with sharp bracing bitterness…high bitter finish…sheeaattt…made in Berkeley CA! I bitterly love this bitter beer. Nothing bitter than a better beer. Mix it in waffle batter? Eat that with butter?

Some comments on rating beers…how does the QPR [ed. Quality Price Ratio] scale stack up to wine? Beer Advocate …we have the Wine Advocate… uses a 5 point scale with two decimal points which of course makes it 50 point scale. As with the absurd 100 point wine scale what is the difference between 4.2 and 4.25? Correctomundo! Nothing! Which brings us to pricing. Total Yawn – oops Wine – sells for $16 a six pack…proving once again only dummies shop there. Gelsons the fancy pants market across the street sends it out the door for $8.99. Go figger but don’t take too long…OK long enuff! Total Yawn is b-o-r-i-n-g. And shtooopid.

Postscript: Thanks to HrtyBaer for his wunnaful wunnaful contributions. As the weather heats up the snakes come out and the goffers are ready to play. Seldom see snakes on a goff course but it has happened. Everybody be safe…from snakes and corona. Ja love.

Here is a video captured this week by a local Topanga guy. As things heat up the rattlesnakes start sunbathing. This is a real beauty. Don’t worry. It ends well. They really do not want to bite. The tail rattles to suggest you get moving along.

Outta Gas. Pandemic Fatigue. Only Wine Can Save Us Now.

HOW MUCH PANDEMIC CAN A PERSON TAKE?

EXCUSE ME IF I AM THINKING OF ONLY MYSELF…WHO AM I THE PRESIDENT?

Let’s get political. Trump is a M-O-R-O-N. It is truly amazing that such a dummy could end up the LEADER of a nation…any nation. But the USA? His stupidity is boundless. His narcissism is so transparent it is “beautiful.” Glad I got that out. Let’s talk about wines. I reserve the right to return to this topic.

Mrs tBoW advised I have to slow down with the online wine purchases. There are several plum choices: Woodland Hills Wine is my local go-to. They have pickup out back. I’ve been in that store so often I could walk in blindfolded – with mask and gloves of course – and find my way to their best buys. Besides David Russell is the Burg Whisperer. Quality is his middle name. I bought some Huet sparkling wine from David in the past 6 weeks. Huet is a major Alsatian producer which means this is made with Chenin Blanc. Yeh. No chard or pinot.

2016 Huet Petillant Brut $28: 14% Golden color, thick on sight. Ripe green apples (yes you can have ripe green apples!), clove, viscous. Masculine wine. If Brad Pitt was a sparkling wine…Robert Mitchum for the TMC fans. David Russel of WHW pushed out it out near $20.

2017 Domaine Audebert et fils Bourgeil $20: 100% Cab Franc rose! Yummmeeee. You might think lotta body. Nope. You might think lotta flavors. Nope. Delicate in a masculine way. 12.5%. OMG. Jeff Welburn imported this wine. Hi Jeff!! Jeff is a very decent person who knows his wines and can be trusted. Nuff said. Congrats to Jeff and Wine Agencies Inc.

2018 Ginglinger-Fix Riesling Vielles Vignes 12.5%. $20. The Krisses love Riesling wines including those from Alsace which is the center of every war between Le Bosch and Les Francais. None of which is apparent in the wines. Alsatian Rieslings do seem different than German or Austrian. For tBoW it is about the delicacy. Maybe Viennese (and near regional) Rieslings are operatic even stuffy, while German Rieslings show power and finesse. Or maybe that is too much stereotyping. This wine is delicious, a titanic food wine and a repeat buy.

2012 Il Chiosse Gattinara Terre Vulcaniche 14%. Mrs. tBoW upbraided tBoW with the latest credit card statement. Slow down pal. This Fass selection is another example of what happens when tBoW encounters an importer who is 75% matched in palate. Same is true for Desert Wine Shop…Fass is a direct importer and we like what he likes. This is Alto Piemonte – a region which tBoW personally discovered and uncovered to the world for value and quality. AltoP [ed. cognoscenti wine speak] blends Nebbiolo with native varietals unlike Baroli wines which went to single varietals to sell into the USA market [ed. undrinkable since 2000]. This wine is a monster. Deep and impenetrable [ed. but not like VP Pence cannot be penetrated or would not ever be penetrated – never mind]. Hmmm. I wonder what “vulcaniche” means? Maybe grown in volcanic soil? Ya think? Needs minimum 3 years to round out. Even longer. Hell we cannot wait. That is why we must buy wines that drink on a more human SARS2 timetable. I left this bottle open overnight and it was still brawny and stout. Yeh. Gone now.

Feeling better now. I feel like I can take off my mask and gloves. Be careful and stay healthy. Please.

Bet you haven’t seen this Corona parody song.

PASS THE TORCH! WINE REVIEWS FROM THE OLD NEW CREW

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME RIESLING?

THE KRISSES ARE NOTHING IF NOT COMMITTED TO THE GRAPE AND THE BEST OF WINES!

This post features the Krisses. If you search for Kris A and KrisB on tBoW you will find them loping up and down the steeps of the Mosel. They learned to l-o-v-e German wines. In fact, they love all German beverages including BEER of which tBoW and kindt also are quite fond. In fact, you may quote KrisB in confirming that German beverages are pretty much tops all round.

Then they dropped out of sight like a hailstorm in September [ed. metaphor does not really work but what the hey.]…like a vineyard in February. Like a plate of cheese on a Spring afternoon with a delightful bottle of Burgundy.

They produced their own special blends – two bebes – and now the Krisses are back to share their favorite post partum wines with all of us.

2013 Weingut Beurer Riesling trocken: Really delicious estate trocken. All the cut you want. Reminds me of the beginning of a wine tasting in Germany. Tastes like Germany? Very good. Honestly maybe didn’t know a basic estate could be this good.

2010 Renato Motalli Valtellina Superiore – Valgella NEBBIOLO Very nice. Had this tinny thing that took a while to blow off, but really deepened and fleshed out the next day. Great wine. Here are cellar tracker notes. [ed. hmmm..posting cellar tracker notes.]

2018 Azienda Agricola Platinetti Guido Colline Novaresi Guido. Super tasty. Tastes like Italy. Classic northern Piemontese blend. Super delicious. Cellar tracker notes. [ed. he did it again. Once more and it’s a trend.]

NV Coessens Champagne Brut Nature Largillier Definitely very mineral with not a lot of red/blue fruits (surprisingly, because it is 100% Pinot), instead yellow fruits abound with a stony edge. Very very good. Cellar tracker [ed. crime-in-italy!]

2016 Enderle & Moll Pinot Noir Basis KrisA’s [ed.that be the missus] first Pinot after Beckett was born. Amazing nose off the bat. Very rangy at first with super high acids. Deepened further by the hour. Really good. And the price! Super value. Cellar tracker. [OK. Since this wine helped tBoW turn a corner on German pinots I had to see what CT said. “Decanted but was open from first pour. Beautiful just ripe cherry fruit with minerals, herbs, and some bark. Mild tannins were barely noticeable. Elegant but with excellent concentration of flavors. Excellent and great QPR. If this is the base wine, really looking forward to the Liaison and single vineyard wines.” tBoW rebuttal: No need to decant. Flavors are dependent on one’s palate. I will say this: based on QPR – quality-price-ratio – I bought summore!]

2010 Weingut Günther Steinmetz Wintricher Geierslay Riesling Spatlese sur lie: This was killer First wine after Beckett was born. [ed. the Enderle & Moll was 1st for Kris A. This must be for KrisB, no?] Nearly ten years old, yet still super electric and pithy, but also with delicate kabinett fruit flavors. Tastes mostly dry despite 28g RS. 11g of acid will do that! Super fresh too. https://www.cellartracker.com/w?1338552

Lets also welcome the Field Maus [ed. he’s still around? been ages since he posted!] who would like to share something warm and touching about dogs and wine. We can all use some of that. https://www.oregonwinepress.com/wine-countrys-best-friend

Here’s something unusual. Dance competition for cowboys and polka.

Hey Mr Covid19! We’re Still Drinking Wines!!

IS THAT ALL YOU GOT MR. CORONA?

Not Impressed. Not By a Long Shot. We Are Hunkering down and drinking wine and..and..and..so much more!!

tBoW and pals – and the occasional drifter – are spending more time on zoom than an Easter/Passover congregant. Thanks to the Desert Wine Shop – who shipped us a case for $154 including shipping – we have plenty of libations with which to celebrate the High Holy Days. Of course we also have a cellar. I mean a proper one; not a bedroom stuffed to the gills with cases of indeterminate labels. WORD: those cases have been curated by the indomitable Krisses…so you can be certain those boxes are filled with obscure delights…the kind one might find in shops like these https://shopobscuraantiques.com/ once featured on the TV show Oddities [ed. find entire seasons on youtube].

We are still accumulating wines for the long haul. As the history of pathogens has shown humankind for 700 years, this shit don’t just disappear. Now we have the anthropocene to consider [ed. for a heavy dose of pandemic history and microbial science you can read all about it here]. Thanks to pal CarltheBrain – CtB-  for the info. For sheer entertainment – while drinking worthwhile wines – check out the daily press briefings from the White House. How soon before the Big Cheeto comes to the podium looking like Iron Man above?

Here is how we have been entertaining ourselves and staying sane.

2018 Chateau d’Oupia Minervois Les Heretiques $10.56: Absolutely incredible. The perfect tBoW wine. Balanced? Check. Tasty fruit backed by some grit? Check. Balanced? Already said that. OK. How about the wine is true to the region? Super check. This is important. Light to middleweight. How often do we taste a wine that is reminiscent of somewhere other than it was grown? Too often. This is mostly (100%) Carignane from the Languedoc where tBoW visited in 2001. Yup. One month before Nine Eleven. The wine growing region 20 years was still regarded as chump change in the world of French super locales, i.e., Burgundy and Bordeaux. The mini-locales included Minervois, Corbières and Coteaux-du-Languedoc. Château d’Oupia is the winery. Who knew the site is legendary! We can tell you the wine meets the hype…and that is before we knew there was any hype. We called Katie at Desert Wine Shop grabbed another quad.

2009 Esprit de Tablas $45. The Tablas Creek winery was iconic. The first major site/venture in the USA to NOT plant Cabernet and Bordeaux varietals. Chose to go with Rhone grapes that suited the weather! Duh. And they started a nursery with vines imported from the Rhone. But one must wait on these collectible wines…and that can sooo haaaard. tBoW often failed and pulled a cork on a tough, tannic monster “before its time.” Then we had to “aerate” like a Brooklyn launderer. Had to purchase multiple kinds of aerators to do it better and faster. Thankfully we found other wines like Burgundies and Altopiemonteses to distract ourselves. Now it is time to clear the TC remainders. Today the tough tannic monster is a much softer patch of heavy sweet grass. Color is dark. Weight is middle to heavy. Flavors? Sappy but short of syrup. These wines were too ripe when harvested. And still too ripe! Double duh. Towards the earthy style. Find friends who always wanted to drink well-aged classic collectible wines from California. And drink up!

2018 A.A. Baadenhorst The Curator $8.06. Another Katie pick. Red Blend from South Africa. Already tBoW is skeptical. I texted KrisB “easily most memorable wine I have had from South Africa.” KrisB response? – “those are words seldom associated with South African wine.” The wine is pleasant. Even enjoyable. I wouldn’t chill it like the Spanish summer red wine the color of vampiric blood. slugged down on the balcony of a Sevilla hotel in July. Before I could text Katie…Mrs. tBoW said “nice label kinda art deco you think?” But…but…the wine itself is so…what’s that word? MEH. What is the problem with South African wines? Start with Pinotage…”a red wine grape that is South Africa’s signature variety. It was bred there in 1925 as a gutsy cross between Pinot Noir and Cinsault.” A nation blended two grapes so it could have its own “unique signature” grape? DUMB. Mrs. tBoW likes it. Red wines do not always agree with her, esp the kind of wines we favor which have balancing acid that brings out nuances when well made. OK. This is quaffable. Inoffensive drink. The Shania Twain of reds. The perfect “food wine” for any season. Let’s get more, she suggests. 2 more from DWS! Now I am at a half case!

2015 Domaine Tortochot Morey St Denis $35: Still young. Early middle age like KrisB and Ikorb. Great color deep ruby. Complex flavors. Cherries more than beets. Supremely balanced with a slight tilt to elegance. Think Jane Fonda in Barbarella…[ed. watched the movie recently]. Could go another 3 years ez. Burgundy. King of wines. Medieval. Vineyards passed down thru the family for centuries. Hard to say no when the right offer comes. So we do not…say no.

Dr. John wants to help us all cast a demonic spell on Mr Covid19. Might work. Nobody knows. Give a listen. Gris gris gumbo ya ya.

 

From the Depths of Despair…Wine Delivers Solace…One Case at a Time.

Sure. Things are grim.

Exclusive Preview of Svengoolie Parody From MAD #4!.

Look. We believe in – and practice – wine therapy.

Every freaking day…well, mostly evenings.

Good news is The Desert Wine Shop in Rancho Mirage is owned by enlightened people whose palates match that of tBoW and many of our readers almost eerily. tBoW called up Kate and asked her to put together then ship a mixed case of her most fabulous and inexpensive [ed. just say c-h-e-a-p] wines. Fact is we have been reading her tasting lineups pre-corona  [ed. of course shut down for now] and she pops corks on some very very very interesting wines. The case arrived within 24 hours [ed. $23 shipping].

Mrs. tBoW has all mail on 24 hour quarantine. So next day at 6:00 [ed. PM] we pulled the cork on the…

2016 Thierry Lurton Chateau Camarac 12.5% $11.66. Blend of Semillon and Sauvignon Blanc…from Entre-Deaux-Mers. Full disclosure…tBoW not a fan of Sauv Blanc grape. Grassy California styles ruined that. But Semillon? Has there ever been a bad one made? Me thinks not. And this was superb. Blended like siblings who love each other. Need more of this for summertime when covid19 has been sent packing…or at least until such a time as it returns. No? Unlikely? Unable to wait on this. Interesting note from producer on back label: “to be kept 1 to 4 years.” So we are at the end of the winemaker’s recommended cycle. We are prudent and attentive with all warnings. We keep socially distant. We stay inside unless we drive around in our hermetically sealed vehicle. Only host or attend virtual wine tastings.

Other wines in the case include a Savoie Gamay Rose @ $9.86; Parallele 45 Cotes du Rhone Blanc [ed. nice, esp since not fond of red CdR wines] @ $12.56; Aveleda Vinho Verde @ $9.86…and eight more wines that will be covered during this horrific pandemic now gratefully tempered with a splendid case of vin from DWS.

Pour a glass and read the following tale of life among Millenials featuring ironic irony and admirable, if normal, work habits penned by the Glass Jar. The name of the current employer of the Glass Jar will remain unknown to protect it’s questionable nature and unnecessary existence [ed. a few more wine reviews shall follow]..

All Wade ever did was walk around the building.

Wades work history is peppered with rapid departures. He was once fired from a job he took knowing in his own mind the job was mindless. Wade was later fired. Curiously, the executives flew over to the office to fire the woman who fired Mr. Mindless. Mr. Mindless had a buddy from his neighborhood who he worked with. His buddy has since been fired. 

Wade was known for walking around the building. He did little work and commonly strolled around parts of the building he had nothing to do with. He was told by his supervisor that he was taking too many walks. On that day, he took a walk. Wade did last a solid seven months before he was told it was him time to join the Hall of Fame of people fired from this beautiful company.

About a month after Wade’s last walk out of the building, this COVID-19 situation had all employees working from home. [ed. ironic eh?] We were told to get the things we needed and head on home. Meetings were virtual. Working in pajamas was normal. Taking long breaks in-between emails became normal. When you take away supervisors and cubicles, it is amazing how little work one can do from home. With all the walking around I was doing on the clock, I realized this pandemic is turning us all into Wade! If only Wade could just stay employed by Morons Incorporated, he would be getting paid to walk around whichever building he wanted.

A message of hope to kids, one day you can be paid to sit around and watch TV and don’t let anybody stop you from believing in yourself. 

Now we are going to provide you with the best coronavirus wines. Wines to make you reflect on all the nothing you accomplish when working out of the bath tub.

Thank you GJ. I feel like Svengoolie sans the makeup. Classic “culture crossed with tacky would-be humor.” Perfect for the shut-in season. Here is teh extar wine review.

2017 Gachot-Monot Cote de Nuits-Villages $30ish. [ed. I lifted this right off a website. Helps the memory.]This is a special cuvee which comes from a plot of the same name “Les Chaillots” in old Burgundian French which means ‘Les Cailloux’ (the Pebbles) which exactly describes this plot where the soil is very stony with natural drainage. The soil produces complex wines which are expressed in fruity notes of cherry, blackberry & forest floor. Would tBoW say Complex? Nah. Ripe and juicy? Yes. Cherry and blackberry? Cherry. Forest floor? Not a hint “tanks gott.” Not even meaty unless you are thinking kangaroo jerky, crikey. This wine is delicious and a Burgunday bargain. Almost certian it was a Desert Wine purchase.

Thanks to the Glass Jar for his contirbution to vin literatur. Since we are all locked up and shut in with nothing better to do than let our minds wander we encourage you to share your views on life and wine. Here is the greatest songwriter of a generation.