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MAYBE YOU SHOULD TAKE A WINE BREAK AND HAVE SOME BEERS!

Our guest blogger is HrtyBaer and he is a beer drinking pro. He knows beers like Fauci knows pandemics. Like Pence knows safety masks. Hey…come up with your own metaphors and make a comment below. Lord knows we can use a fresh perspective. HrtyBaer’s assignment? Review THREE BEERS.

Three beers? I’ll get straight to the point. Here are three workhorse brews any wine drinker can appreciate; core beers of their respective breweries, easily accessible in Southern California, interesting but not overly complicated, and flexible enough to work in just about any situation.

Passion Pool 5% ABV, Mikkeller Brewing San Diego $11.99 16 oz four pack Total Wine: This l’il puppy is a gose, an old German ale that fell out of fashion sometime during the Triassic period. Luckily, the style has experienced a renaissance in the last decade or so. A traditional gose is salty, sour, lower on the ABV spectrum and displays a refreshing character. This one hits all those notes and adds in a little passion fruit to balance everything out. It’s light, it’s quenching – do it. [ed. read about how gose beer is made – and how to pronounce the name – from a beer critic revolted by the style!] What a snob.

Vibes 5% ABV, Almanac Beer Company $13 four pack Total Wine: Vibes is a modern take on a Pilsner [ed. tBoW loves Pilsner!]. It’s got the light, dry body, cracker-y malts, and prickly carbonation of the classic style, but it’s dry-hopped with new-age hop varietals that impart a fruity (honeydew, lemongrass, citrus), and more rounded character while dialing back the bitterness [ed. tBoW loves bitterness – doesn’t everyone?].

Retreat 8.6% ABV, Offshoot Beer Company $18 four pack 16 oz cans Total Wine: Classic West Coast IPAs can be so bitter that it’s almost impossible to find any real flavor. Modern New England IPAs are often measured by their hazy, opaque visual characteristic and can be sweet to the point of cloying – just a sugary mess. This double IPA from Offshoot is indeed hazy, but it incorporates the best of all the IPA worlds to create a beer that provides excellent balance with great citrus flavor (orange and grapefruit), a smooth, soft body, and a refreshing light bitterness on the backend. It’s dangerously easy to drink and is always stocked in my fridge.

Trumer Pilsner ABV 4.8% $9 six pack 11 oz Total Wine: following comment borrowed from Beer Advocate: “There is not a better example of a true Pilsner brewed in America. If you like traditional pilsners with a slightly sweet finish but no lingering residue in the mouth this is the one. It is not going to please those who like the new style pilsners that have a hoppy characteristic to them, but for the majority of pilsner drinkers just looking for something crushable this is it.” All that being said, here is what tBoW likes…just the right amount of bitterness which for mois is considerable…hits the mouth right away filling it with sharp bracing bitterness…high bitter finish…sheeaattt…made in Berkeley CA! I bitterly love this bitter beer. Nothing bitter than a better beer. Mix it in waffle batter? Eat that with butter?

Some comments on rating beers…how does the QPR [ed. Quality Price Ratio] scale stack up to wine? Beer Advocate …we have the Wine Advocate… uses a 5 point scale with two decimal points which of course makes it 50 point scale. As with the absurd 100 point wine scale what is the difference between 4.2 and 4.25? Correctomundo! Nothing! Which brings us to pricing. Total Yawn – oops Wine – sells for $16 a six pack…proving once again only dummies shop there. Gelsons the fancy pants market across the street sends it out the door for $8.99. Go figger but don’t take too long…OK long enuff! Total Yawn is b-o-r-i-n-g. And shtooopid.

Postscript: Thanks to HrtyBaer for his wunnaful wunnaful contributions. As the weather heats up the snakes come out and the goffers are ready to play. Seldom see snakes on a goff course but it has happened. Everybody be safe…from snakes and corona. Ja love.

Here is a video captured this week by a local Topanga guy. As things heat up the rattlesnakes start sunbathing. This is a real beauty. Don’t worry. It ends well. They really do not want to bite. The tail rattles to suggest you get moving along.

Outta Gas. Pandemic Fatigue. Only Wine Can Save Us Now.

HOW MUCH PANDEMIC CAN A PERSON TAKE?

EXCUSE ME IF I AM THINKING OF ONLY MYSELF…WHO AM I THE PRESIDENT?

Let’s get political. Trump is a M-O-R-O-N. It is truly amazing that such a dummy could end up the LEADER of a nation…any nation. But the USA? His stupidity is boundless. His narcissism is so transparent it is “beautiful.” Glad I got that out. Let’s talk about wines. I reserve the right to return to this topic.

Mrs tBoW advised I have to slow down with the online wine purchases. There are several plum choices: Woodland Hills Wine is my local go-to. They have pickup out back. I’ve been in that store so often I could walk in blindfolded – with mask and gloves of course – and find my way to their best buys. Besides David Russell is the Burg Whisperer. Quality is his middle name. I bought some Huet sparkling wine from David in the past 6 weeks. Huet is a major Alsatian producer which means this is made with Chenin Blanc. Yeh. No chard or pinot.

2016 Huet Petillant Brut $28: 14% Golden color, thick on sight. Ripe green apples (yes you can have ripe green apples!), clove, viscous. Masculine wine. If Brad Pitt was a sparkling wine…Robert Mitchum for the TMC fans. David Russel of WHW pushed out it out near $20.

2017 Domaine Audebert et fils Bourgeil $20: 100% Cab Franc rose! Yummmeeee. You might think lotta body. Nope. You might think lotta flavors. Nope. Delicate in a masculine way. 12.5%. OMG. Jeff Welburn imported this wine. Hi Jeff!! Jeff is a very decent person who knows his wines and can be trusted. Nuff said. Congrats to Jeff and Wine Agencies Inc.

2018 Ginglinger-Fix Riesling Vielles Vignes 12.5%. $20. The Krisses love Riesling wines including those from Alsace which is the center of every war between Le Bosch and Les Francais. None of which is apparent in the wines. Alsatian Rieslings do seem different than German or Austrian. For tBoW it is about the delicacy. Maybe Viennese (and near regional) Rieslings are operatic even stuffy, while German Rieslings show power and finesse. Or maybe that is too much stereotyping. This wine is delicious, a titanic food wine and a repeat buy.

2012 Il Chiosse Gattinara Terre Vulcaniche 14%. Mrs. tBoW upbraided tBoW with the latest credit card statement. Slow down pal. This Fass selection is another example of what happens when tBoW encounters an importer who is 75% matched in palate. Same is true for Desert Wine Shop…Fass is a direct importer and we like what he likes. This is Alto Piemonte – a region which tBoW personally discovered and uncovered to the world for value and quality. AltoP [ed. cognoscenti wine speak] blends Nebbiolo with native varietals unlike Baroli wines which went to single varietals to sell into the USA market [ed. undrinkable since 2000]. This wine is a monster. Deep and impenetrable [ed. but not like VP Pence cannot be penetrated or would not ever be penetrated – never mind]. Hmmm. I wonder what “vulcaniche” means? Maybe grown in volcanic soil? Ya think? Needs minimum 3 years to round out. Even longer. Hell we cannot wait. That is why we must buy wines that drink on a more human SARS2 timetable. I left this bottle open overnight and it was still brawny and stout. Yeh. Gone now.

Feeling better now. I feel like I can take off my mask and gloves. Be careful and stay healthy. Please.

Bet you haven’t seen this Corona parody song.

Forced and Unforced Wine Errors.

 

Making Sense of Chaos.

Lettie Teague recently wrote what she really loves about wine 7 Reasons We Love Wine. tBoW loves Lettie Teague…and wine. Much to love when it comes to wine. However, there is a lot of dopey stuff as well. And since tBoW does not write for a living (at least not about wine) we can poke fun at all the silliness involved.

Take Wallys Wine and Spirits. For more than four decades Wallys was the trendsetter in how to market fine wine. Steve Wallace and Gary Fishman [ed. call me Gary, Matt’s Dad wants to interview you] ran the best WINE shop on the Westside. The only competition was the Wine House which became the SUPER market for wines ’round the world. However, Wallys was the top dog with the Hollywood client list. Ran into Danny Kay there. Had him sign the birthday card I happened to be carrying with me. Now Wallys is a laff riot of misguided pretension. Glamour and importance. Cater your next awards season party. Affect your glamorous lifestyle. Forced error – misguided hubris.

The aging wine thing is D-U-M-B. Archaic. Silly. Producing wine to be aged is bull pucky; a fashion foisted on the innocenti who believe wine is better with age. The only thing better with age is adolescence. In fact aging wine is a gamble…a poor one. Odds are stacked against those who love wine when the wine needs to “lay down.” This is doublespeak for heavy oak and tannins more commonly found in wood sealers. Those phonies who would write a wine review suggesting “lay down this beauty for a decade” are lost in the “fog of wine.” Lettie Teague would never suggest laying down a wine. At least we believe that is true.

Ever freeze a bottle of wine? You now…put it in the freezer to cool and discover a few days later you actually put in the cooler to freeze? Unforced DUMB error.

tBoW recommends wines that can be opened and consumed right now. Sometimes it is necessary to lay the wine down in the cellar. This is usually the case when wine is shipped. Wait 2 weeks if you can stand it. Sometimes it is necessary to allow a wine to settle down if the bottle has been cooled in the freezer on a bed of ice…and forgotten. That wine should be defrosted at room temp before pulling the cork in another week…if the cork has not forced its own exit from the bottle. Barring unforced errors like freezing wine for good cause there is no excuse for buying wine that needs to be aged for a decade or more. There are two exceptions to this rule: ports and sauternes.

Here are two wine paragons that can please greatly when opened “before their time;” and one wine that missed its “open by” date.

2016 Boxler Gewurtztraminer $35: Floral nose, a flower bouquet, honey suckle. Flavors of hay and mint. Say what? Over the top AND balanced. Honey. A knockout. Can it age. Certainly. However, if we bought more it would be like trying to keep my hands off my baby granddaughter. Oh sure. Wait until she’s five years old and more ambulatory. Looks like this gewurtz baby is still available at Kermit Lynch, Flatiron and Vintage Wine Merchants in San Jose. Lucky buy! Thank you Kermit.

NV Perrier-Jouet Grand Brut 13.5% $39 at Costco. May seem pricey however for champagne of this pedigree it is the go-to choice for tBoW on Valentines Day. Fruity, marzipan like. Break out the nice flutes. Dependable selection for the special occasion. The right question is whether the tBoW reviewed Cava sparkler Ravenots at 40% the cost, is good enough? We would say not quite…but close.

2011 Domaine Joseph Roty Marsannay 13%. $40ish. Tough to find. Because it is old now. Generally the vineyard designations age longer and are more interesting than this village bottling. The pedigree – Roty – is top notch. The wine is exotic but on its way to the Assisted Living Facility. tBoW finds that Burgs are generally better when consumed “before their time.” We missed here by a couple years. Forced PEDIGREE error. Fuggedaboudid. It’s Burg Town..

Making the right choices when buying wines is important to our list of reasons to love wine. As Chuck D and Public Enemy put it don’t believe the hype. However we find Bob McNamara in all his confidence and technicalities the more appropos analogue when it comes to figuring out how to enjoy wine by accepting the Fog of Wine.

Wine Enlightenment is a THING!!

 

Hume! Smith! Carlyle! Siegel? Blair! The greatest minds of the Scottish Enlightenment all loved Spatburgunder!

Mr Story is a notable thinker in his own write. He has been giving thought to a delicate topic; guidelines for regulating wine purchases. I am confident tBoW speaks for many when he says buying wine is an impulsive act. Count sellers among that group. The general impression is that people who buy wine as a “hobby” are compulsive idiots who disdain the self control they otherwise widely practice in their lives. I am speaking of clinicians, dentists, $$ investors, high school teachers, attorneys, movie folks and professors. BY contrast, actors, dentists and politicians are undisciplined folks driven by base amoral impulses.

It seems timely that tBoW publishes the following testamento. Reflecetions follow.

[STORY BEGINS HERE] Greetings, blog recipients! It has been awhile since I – Mr. Story – have gathered my thoughts and carefully crafted them into a fine delicious blend for you, my dearest readers, for light sipping and enlightenment. Following the Storied Tasting of 2019 there was much to reflect on. I am ready to be back on the blog to share my wisdom with you! Now, I come to the next crossroads. What do I discuss on the blog? Yes, rumor has it that the Best of Wines is a wine blog, but methinks there is more to life than wine. So how about we discuss money. Wait, how about we discuss wine AND money! Brilliant. [ed. now tBoW is paying attention].

Did you know that millions of Americans are drinking their way into debt? Yes, I said it! It’s quite a terrible thing. As Dave Ramsey says “adults delay pleasure. Children do what feels good.” I guess there are a bunch of “children” over 21 running around and drinking their brains out instead of putting their money into mutual funds or saving to buy a house. They go to the bottle because it “feels good” in the moment.

I am not saying get rid of wine altogether, no, no! What I am recommending is putting together a monthly wine budget to ensure that your wine spending doesn’t get out of control. Yes, create two of them. One monthly wine budget for bottles of wine at home and the other for purchasing glasses of wine outside of the home… at a restaurant, for example. For the more adventurous, you may want to create a third annual budget for wine tastings and outings. The important thing here is to have a budget and to follow it. Every time you buy wine, keep the receipt and put them all into a wine glass [ed. tBoW suggests using the glasses “given away” at tasting rooms.]. Keep a piece of paper near the wine glass or track the expense category of WINE in your favorite budgeting app. I use Dave Ramsey’s Every Dollar App and it works great. While we are talking about Dave, no, you shouldn’t be buying wine with a credit card or going into debt for it. It’s not worth it.

Here’s the thing. You probably have no idea how much you are spending on wine. Let me introduce you to some numbers and math to do the explaining here.

[ed. tBoW reviews value wine in midst of Story’s thoughts] 2016 Chateau Bonneau Haut Medoc $25 altho we probably got it for less. Review is sourced from Vivino Dark garnet. Smoky vanilla and cedar, touch medicinal. Cherry, woody red currants and a hint of ash. Decent length with a slight tickle of woody tannins. Perfectly mature now, but decant to avoid sediment. 🌟86 pts – good QPR. tBoW recalls he liked this wine mucho esp for a Cab blend. Best thing about the Vivion review is the “good Quality-Price Ratio – QPR.” 86 points means N-O-T-H-I-N-G. Back to the Story story.]

For the at-home-drinker: Online wine retailer Vivino reports that the average bottle of red wine costs $15.66. If you drink 1 bottle a week, you are spending roughly $814.32 per year. 2 bottles a week brings you to $1,628.64 per year. See why we recommend wines $25 and under on this blog now, right? Imagine if you were buying $50 bottles to try to impress your friends and doing so twice a week? That would be costing you $5,200 per year! Yikes!

According to the Wine Market Council, millennials and boomers are most at risk for drinking up their paychecks. They found that 42% of all wine in the United States is sold to millennials. Boomers however, account for a slightly smaller portion of the U.S. population but are more heavy wine drinkers than millennials.

[ed. tBoW reviews value wine in the middle of Story’s thoughts: 2009 Ghemme Terre Moreniche Ill Chiosso 13% unclear on price altho guessing $25. Lyle Fass offer and buy. Only ONE review of this wine on Vivino. What makes AltoP wines so terrific is they are blended! Unlike most Baroli. Did not locate many Altopiemonte wines on Vivino. Guessing because the region is too far off the beaten path. The wine was spectacular. We would buy again in a heartbeat faster than Mahomes can deliver a heater 20 years downfield throwing across his body. We MUST have an Altopiemonte & Spatburgunder tasting in the Spring! Mr Story will be there I am sure.]

Interesting stuff. Read this blog and get the good deals. Make your wine budgets, two or three depending on your relationship with wine. [END OF STORY!]

Thank you Mr. Story. My reflections follow from a Boomer palate…okay? (1) I cannot believe I am pimping for Dave Ramsey and getting zilch in return. (2) My dental surgeon reviews wines for Vivino which is a populist website that rates wines on a five point scale that is actually 40 points using a single decimal point between 1 and 4.9. I give them credit for rejecting the ABSURD and USELESS marketing tool…100 point scale. (3) I respect Mr Story’s POV. (4) Not a chance I will budget anything including golf clubs. Keep in mind tBoW is an old boomer fart. Wait until Dotore weighs in. Or IGTY aka IWTYT. I leave it to Story contempos Glass Jar, KrisB and Ikorb to share their views which is unlikely given their compulsive Millenial work ethic.

I have an idea. Let’s drink some value wines with a decent price-quality ratio…and post up here!

It’s Safe to Come Out Munchkins! The Next – I mean New – Year has Begun!

The holiday season can be taxing. But now that its O-V-E-R we can only say don’t let the door

hit you on the way OUT DUDE!

Image result for Santa wrecks sled

The celebration gauntlet was especially long in the tBoW household oin 2019 with endless events to attend and host. There were highlights marked by memories [ed. all good] and in some cases there were memorable wines.

The BIG EVENT was the Friday the 13th Holiday Wine Tasting at RiTA House hosted by “Stacie’s Wine Cellar.” Stacie’s collection is legendary. The lineup created a locust-like buzz (ed. cue Exorcist II locusts clip) given it was an all star, all desirable lineup of labels and vintages. The RiTA House venue is excellent – a 100 year old 3 story “townhouse” in mid Wilshire with no parking. Stacie hosts the “Share A Glass” wine tastings at RiTA House which are open to members.

The lineup included top labels from Burgundy, Chianti (early 90s Biondi Santi) and Bordeaux (1988 Pichon Lalande): “Classic Vintages and Magnums of Champagne, Barolo, Barbaresco, Burgundy, Bord

eaux, Tuscan, Napa, Paso Robles.” The evening became a lesson in the perils of holding on too long to our most precious bottles. Too many wines were tired and simply over the hill. tBoW covered this phenomenon from his own supply mid-year with his “How To Tell When a Wine is Bad” tasting. Of course that tasting included judgment errors! Stacie did hit the gong with several outstanding wines. Dotore – who attended – captured the holiday message succinctly. Be careful to not hold onto your favorite wines too long. Suivez vos conseils mon ami!

2000 Billecart Salmon Amreuil-sur-Ay. $?? Priceless. The R-A-R-E single vineyard triple mag was served chilled. Came off like a kiwi lemon fruit bowl on ice. With ~20 plus guests the bottle was finished…but it took a few hours! If we had to pick one wine for a second round it would clearly be the Billecart! tBoW probably stuck his glass in front Gianfranco the distracted somm at least 6 times. Speaking of sparkling wines…we ope

ned several between Christmas and New Years. Here is one we really loved that can be found and bought for a fair price.

Laghibellina Gavi Metodo Classico $28: “on the lees 24 months” with 13% alcohol. This was the sparkler of the holidays (excepting the Billecart of course). Easy quaffer. Full flavored fruity and tart. Th grape is Cortese di Gavi which tBoW would usually avoid. Not in this case!  Imported by Oliver McCrumm Wines [ed. who’s he? say Broon fans] which is also worth remembering. We will probably have a post coming that reviews the new importers – succeeding Kermit and Rosenthal and more who are reshaping the wine import industry with direct to seller – themselves.

The early 90s Biondi Santi [ed. apologies; failed to note vintage] had survived almost 3 decades with great panache. Pulled this cork just in time.

Finally, the 1994 Quinta de Eira Velha Noval Single Quinta [ed. quinta means single vineyard] Port was served last after many tasters were fatigado. Flavors of maple and chocolate. This was the last of a case tBoW acquired on futures way back when on release. F-U-T-U-R-E-S was a commercial scam dricen by the 1980s and 90s wine fever that excited middle-aged men who just had to have that vintage from that producer. Martinez and port wines generally are an interesting story for anyone who likes wine. A single vineyard is unusual and certainly an attempt to get with the hot sales tip that continues to thrive today.

Come Out! Come Out! Wherever you are!!